The Hypocrisy of "The Hypocrisy of..."

I keep telling myself to give up reading the news. It isn't insightful or informative or useful. But I keep going back and running right into pieces like this one by Navarrette. He begins by commenting on the hypocrisy of people who use the "w-word" while complaining about people who use the "w-word". He gives a hint as to what the "w-word" is, but I guess I am really dense because I just couldn't figure out what it was. That is, until he actually quoted the "w-word" that he was criticizing people for using when criticizing others who used it. Yes, this really is as incredibly stupid as it sounds. Here is an example from the column:

In arguing that offensive speech shouldn't be censored, Rich wrote that we should "let Bill O'Reilly talk about 'wetbacks.' ..." That is exactly how Rich wrote it -- wetbacks. So what that he was quoting someone else. That's no excuse. If that someone else had used the long version of the n-word, you had better believe that Rich would never have printed it in his column.

This all goes to illustrate just three things:
1. Navarrette is an idiot.
2. It is plain silly to expect adults to conduct a serious discussion about a word or term without ever using it.
3. I really should stop reading the news.

Pictures I used as part of my final presentation in Chinese class

My presentation was about Chinese character tattoos as sported by Americans. Most of the pictures come from www.hanzismatter.com. The site is a blog run by a Chinese man living in America totally dedicated to stupid Chinese character tattoos. There are lots of funny or strange stories on the site. There was the guy with a rabbit character on his foot, for good luck (get it, rabbit foot?). And some guy that wanted to know what character meant "slut" so his wife could get it tattooed on her hip. I chose a few favorite categories of wierd character tattoos:

Hollywood-style stupidity:

Justin Timberlake as a drug dealer, an ice skating drug dealer: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0426883/Ss/0426883/w1b.jpg.html?hint=nm0005493
Avril Lavigne promoting Hong Kong tour with "Japan's the best" on her arm: http://www.hanzismatter.com/2005_03_01_archive.html

"Professional" stupidity:

They look really bad and some aren't even right (look at page 5): http://www.bullseyetattoos.com/tattoos/Kanji/?page=11

Chinese character fonts: These fall in two categories. The first is English-language fonts designed to look like Chinese characters. The other is made up of actual Chinese characters, or at least radicals, but randomly assigned to letters.

Psuedo-Chinese Font: http://www.hanzismatter.com/2006_09_01_archive.html
And Actual Chinese Used as English letters: http://www.hanzismatter.com/2006_08_01_archive.html
Resulting in: http://www.hanzismatter.com/2006/12/stop-woman-flow.html and http://www.hanzismatter.com/2005/11/asian-font-gibberish.html

Silly Girls with lower-back advertising space: I guess they were sold out of "Get it Here" t-shirts so these girls went with something more permanent.

http://www.hanzismatter.com/2006_05_01_archive.html
http://www.hanzismatter.com/2006_01_01_archive.html (bu4 gan3 dang1)

Gift that keeps giving

A few weeks after my brother Zac died, a woman at church offered me some iris bulbs. I turned them down because I wasn't up to planting them. So she came over and planted them for me! Now every spring when the irises bloom I remember how wonderful it was to have someone plant flowers for me when I was too tired to do it myself.

When French do better than Americans

I am not a fan of French anything. I think, as a group, they are cultural snobs. Of course, this is an excellent example of the pot calling the kettle black, but still. So I was dismayed to learn that France had an 84% turnout in their recent primary election. I couldn't find any good numbers for the American presidential primary and even if I could, they'd be a little skewed since votes made in states with late primaries literally have no impact. But I am guessing something way under 20%. Like 14%. Maybe. And France pulled out 84%. It is embarrassing.

Suicidal chickens

We had four chickens on Thursday. On Friday we only had three. Our neighbor said he has seen a chickenhawk around and we found feathers so we don't expect to see this chicken again. So we've been on the lookout for the hawk. And this morning I heard the flapping of large wings outside my window. I immediately looked out and saw three nervous looking chickens, all tensely poised to run, and all standing completely in the open. Nearby was a tree and a coop, both much safer places to avoid a chickenhawk. But the chickens remained in the most dangerous possible place they could, worrying about the chickenhawk.

God and Guns

Lots of people lately have had a lot to say about gun rights. Great! We can have an informative discussion about the benefits and dangers of widespread availability of guns while will lead to a well-thought out national policy. So here are a few entries in the debate courtesy of that beacon of deliberative thought called CNN:

From the NRA: Who likes dead good guys? I'll tell you who. People who tramp on the Second Amendment, that's who. People who refuse to accept the self-evident truth that free people have the God-given right to keep and bear arms, to defend themselves and their loved ones.

Ah yes. The old debate standbys of calling the other side evil, seeing as how they like dead good guys, and claiming God's on your side. Because if there's anything God likes as much as peace, it's an automatic assault rifle. And the other side?

Some guy at UCLA: So let's just disregard all the hoopla about the race of the student responsible for the slayings. These students were not killed by a Korean, they were killed by a 9 mm handgun and a .22-caliber handgun.

Excellent riposte. We intimate that anyone who opposes gun control is racist by making an unjustified leap from "race of shooter is irrelevant" through "cultural background of shooter is irrelevant" all the way to "shooter doesn't matter, only guns". Apparently 9 mm handguns kill people. Perhaps we should try pre-sale self-esteem classes for all small caliber guns to help them deal with their inadequacy issues before we let them out into the real world.

I care...I care not...I care...I care not...I care!

Scott and I started a "child-free" family home evening group a few weeks ago. When I first thought of it, I called it "adult-oriented", but I quickly realized that didn't sound the way I meant it to. Anyway, we invited some other people from church, couples and singles, who don't have kids to join our group. One of the women I invited is someone I really admire. She is brilliant, interesting, and just a joy to be around. So instead of saying something like "I would really like it if you could join us" I said something more like "We have this group and if you'd like to come you can". What I meant was "I really want you there" and what I conveyed instead was "I don't care if you come or not". It's sort of my modus operandi. When I like someone and think they are interesting, and invite them somewhere, and I really do want them there, I pretend I don't much care. Why? Is it fear of rejection? Fear that I'll sound weird? I have no idea. I used to do this to one of my brothers too. How mean is that? But I am working on it. So when I saw this woman yesterday I told her how much we missed her on Monday when she wasn't able to come.

Among the horror and carnage, this just stood out

Like many other college students around the country, I have been reading a bit about the Virginia Tech shooting. At least I am now. When I first saw it on the news yesterday I thought "Oh, another school shooting" and read something else. How cynical is that? But back to the shooting. It is horrific and saddening. And yet, in the middle of an article filled with horrifying and saddening details, this statement about a gun purchase stood out enough for a double take:

State police conducted an instant background check that probably took about a minute, the store owner said.

Maybe it is the mathematician in me, but an "instant" background check cannot take a minute. I mean, technically, it can't even take a second, but I don't mind stretching it that far. Even 15 seconds. But a minute? My dad won't even focus for 30 seconds while I try to explain a math concept. It really shouldn't be called an "instant" background check. Maybe we should call it "background checks while-u-wait". Or "minute-checks". Or perhaps "semi-useless minute-long exercise intended to give people a false sense of safety".

Asian girl

I went to dinner with asian girls and decided "when in rome..." applied. So here is a picture of our food! (For anyone who doesn't know, Asian girls take ALOT of pictures. I went on Fall Break vacation with a few once. Trust me. A lot of pictures. In particular, some of them take pictures of their food on special occasions.)

mobile blogging

i know this is a lame and boring picture, but it is just there to demonstrate that i am actually on a bus while i blog this. scott, being the wonderful husband that he is, bought me a new gadget...again. this time it is a samsung blackjack with a full qwerty keyboard and internet and everything. the only problem is my fat fingers hitting the wrong buttons all the time. but now i can blog from anywhere!

Sick Me

Well, between my office-mate, my husband, and my dog, I guess I was going to catch something sooner or later. Now I have a sore throat, a sore tummy, and two new video games to tempt me to stay on the couch. Methinks this is not a good combination.

Sick Hubby, Sick Puppy

It is allergy season and Jessie and I can only watch as Scott and Murphy suffer through. Well, actually, we could try to be helpful. Jessie was in the living room cleaning Murphy so I figured I should follow her example and take care of Scott. I ask him what he would like to do. "Nothing." What would he like to eat? "Nothing." Drink? "Nothing." So I finally hand him a Wii Remote, a plate full of food, and a ginger ale. He eats and drinks everything and asks for seconds while playing for the next three hours. And then he wonders why I never include him when I make decisions.

Ditching Class

When I was an undergraduate I was a big proponent of ditching. If I could do the homework and pass the exams, why attend class? Of course, not every class worked this way, but many did and I worked very hard to ditch them consistently. Like Statics. I would attend once every three weeks right before the exam to find out when and where the exam review would be held. I would attend the review and then get an A on the exam. The there was Number Theory and Linear Algebra and C++. Oh wait. I went to C++. I just played on my laptop during class. But anyway, the point is that I ditched a lot of class.

But all that changed when I started grad school. Grad school is for serious students and I don't just ditch class because I feel like it anymore. At least, that's what I told myself on my first day of classes last year. It lasted for a few weeks. Since then I have very consistently ditched Combinatorics (Spring 06) and Intermediate Differential Equations (Fall 06). But I didn't have any easy classes like those this semester so I've had to go to class, like I'm paid to do. As a reward for my exemplary behavior this semester, today I treated myself to ditching Algebraic Geometry from 4:45 to 6:00. I don't know if this is the sort of positive reinforcement I ought to be trying.

Old Gadgets

Scott just bought me a new phone. I already had an rather nice pink Razr that I really liked. So I totally didn't need a new phone. But, as I explained to a friend who asked, Scott likes buying me new gadets and I like letting him. My new Blackjack will play Daily Show and music and radio and phone calls. Very sweet. All of this left me with figuring out what to do with my Razr. I have a pretty sweet deal going with my parents and in-laws. Scott and I buy new gadgets and dump our old (to us, anyway) gadgets on them. We don't have to go through the hassle of finding a buyer on eBay or something and they get both a reduced price on the equipment and a seller they trust (I hope). So I called Mom to offer my phone and some other accessories. A few hours later my Dad called to say he had talked to a guy at a Cingular store about changing to a new phone.

Now I love my parents and in-laws, but they generally don't know their way around technology. My mother-in-law needed to know which side of the CD is supposed to face-up and my mom once asked if she could borrow my credit card to make an online purchase because she was worried that hers might get stolen (thanks, mom). My dad, however, really doesn't do technology. And, frighteningly enough, neither do the people at Cingular stores. They are just there to sell stuff. And the Cingular guy told my Dad it would cost over $100 to switch my mom to using my phone, when it is actually free and doesn't require anyone even telling Cingular it happened. (Note: I suspect this is an effective, if completely dishonest, way to get an insurance policy on your phone after it is broken and then cash in on it immediately.) So my dad called sounding a little annoyed at the thought of spending over $100 to switch mom to a new phone. And I almost replied with something along the lines of "Dad, don't go talk to anyone ever again. Just do what I tell you to with your technology and don't ask questions!" I didn't say this of course because it isn't nice, but sometimes it would be soooo much easier than explaining.

It's Snowing

No really. It's snowing! Why?!? It was perfectly warm and beautiful and there is fruit on my trees and happy, happy chickens in the yard and I didn't close my windows for a couple of weeks because it was so nice. And right this very minute, snow is falling. This is so wrong.

Blow Up Maps

We are learning about blowup maps in Algebraic Geometry. They take a perfectly nice plane into a copy of itself except at one point. At that point you get a whole line thrown in, with points corresponding to the different lines in the original plane that went through your point. So now your previously nice plane wraps around this line. This is supposed to be useful. I guess it is in the same way that a nifty piece of new software is cool. You know, the one that replaces the perfectly good version you were using for the sake of some bells and whistles that you don't even want and don't have time to learn to use because you are busy figuring out how to do the basic stuff that you used to be able to do but now can't figure out because all the buttons moved and once you do get the bells and whistles down they'll come out with a new version and then you'll have to start all over. Yeah, that's math class. Once I get blowups down they'll hit me from behind with some other insane construction.

Outsourcing just ruins the sense of community!

A once booming industry in Oklahoma has begun to crumble as production is moved to Mexico. It used to be you could go down to your local mom-and-pop run meth lab and get a few doses. They knew you and would maybe spot you a bit if you didn't have the cash. And if you couldn't pay them back, they would just let it go, no hard feelings. Now it's all big business what with crystal meth coming in from Mexico. You miss one payment and they blow up your car. Meth has really lost that local, human touch. At least, this is what a former meth lab operator told NPR for an article on the rise of crystal meth.

The End of the Floods

On Thursday evening it had stopped raining for bit and the whole world was beautiful. There was a rainbow and a sunset and all the colors of the plants and buildings looked like someone had moved the hue saturation bar up a few clicks. We took a few pictures but none of them came close to showing how it looked right then.

We were outside this afternoon fixing our fountain pump and inspecting our fruit trees. Scott pointed out this cocoon in one of the nectarine trees. If you look closely, you'll see the little nectarines beginning to grow on the branch. I am excited about seeing what grows here.

My Fingers are Wrinkling

It has been pouring buckets for something like 4 days now. Boomer Lake has probably risen 2 ft. I feel like my fingers are going to start pruning every time I walk out of my house. But it is just a general sort of sogginess. The kind where everyone stays off the grass because they'll start sinking into the mud. And you start considering how best to holster an umbrella by your hip. For Naomi, however, it's personal. She walks out of her apartment and it starts raining. She gets in the car and it stops. She gets to the store and it starts again before she gets out of the car. And so on. There have also been a lot of tornadoes and one lightning bolt struck so close to our house that when I heard the clap of thunder I thought something had run into our house. Like the house shook that much. I am grateful for the rain of course seeing as how we've been suffering through a drought. But really, could we maybe space this out a little?

Looking into the crystal ball...

Well, presidential campaigns are really going. Hilary, Obama, Guiliani, and McCain are all over the news. Great, so I should consider their positions and who to vote for. Wait. What's that you say? We don't even vote in the primary for almost another year?!? Why do candidates do this to us and to themselves? I have a prediction to make. Hilary, Obama, Guiliani, and McCain will all lose in the primaries. By the time the primaries comes around, we will be so sick of them that we will vote for someone else just to get them off the TV. So who else is there to vote for? I mean no one seems to be talking about anyone else. But primaries are a bit like Baskin-Robbin's 31 flavors. There are colorful posters about the cotton candy and Ghostbusters flavors for the kids. But or those of us who want some flavor instead of a flashy look and a name, there are still a bunch of choices. So I am making some predictions. I am hoping for a 60% accuracy rate.

On the Republican side here are candidates and predictions:
- Brownback: Says something incredibly stupid on tape sometime before the first ballot is cast and quits before Oklahoma's primary.
- Gingrich: Are you kidding? No way. He admitted (10 years late) to having affairs during his first marriage and while publicly crucifying Bill Clinton. Oh and there were ethics charges following his resignation from the House.
- Fred Thompson: Charismatic and conservative. Most likely to win primary.
- Mitt Romney: Charismatic and conservative and Mormon. The best Republican candidate, but still. Almost likely to win primary.
- Chuck Hagel: Makes a respectable, but ultimately inadequate, showing in the primaries.

And on the Democratic side:
- Dodd: Loses early and badly.
- Edwards: Almost likely to win primary.
- Richardson: Most likely to win primary (this is probably wishful thinking, since I think he is the best candidate).
- Al Gore: Despite speculation, he doesn't even run.
- Wesley Clark: hmmm...this is a tough one. I think he plays like Chuck Hagel.

Just Eat the Donut!

It is an old math joke that a topologist can't tell the difference between her coffee cup and her donut, because they are both tori (solid 3-D shapes with a hole). I made the mistake yesterday of offering a donut to a topologist. She thanked me by offering a lecture on how you can cut a torus a certain way to get a larger, albeit skinnier, torus. Seriously. I'm not making this up. Someday I will learn not to give topologists an opening. But I went looking around for fun with tori and found some torus based games for kids (and immature adults).

Logarithms

We had our Complex Analysis exam this morning. There were only 5 questions and 2 dealt with a logarithm. So after I spent 20 minutes writing down everything I knew on the exam, I had the rest of the exam to contemplate the logarithm. Now a logarithm is a tricky thing. In junior high you learn about it and it seems strange but innocuous, like a polky-dotted duck or something. It acts like a function and quacks like a function so who cares if it's a little wierd, right? Well, as it turns out, the logarithm is hiding some serious identity crises. In the complex plane it isn't just a function, it's simultaneously a whole bunch of functions anywhere but none of them everywhere. What's worse, this isn't some random identity crises that we can just ignore by relegating the logarithm so red-headed stepchild status among functions. A lot of important functions that look perfectly nice from far away have logarithm-type issues. Like all these functions are actually crazy but only the logarithm is honest about it.

Not so much an impression as a gaping hole...

Our Complex Analysis professor told us that even though the class is only 75 minutes long, he wanted to give us as much time as possible for the exam. Which we usually need since he writes unreasonably long exams. So he said we wouldn't have to leave until Naomi (another student who teaches a class right after Complex) had to leave. So I figure we can probably squeeze 10 extra minutes in. Worried about whether this would be enough, Naomi emailed the professor to ask if we should move the exam time to the evening to avoid running short on time.

He responded by insisting that he had always intended to give us only 75 minutes and any 'impressions' to the contrary were unintended. Impressions? No, I don't think so. They weren't impressions. He actually said this stuff.

iPod, iRack, and iRan

MadTV did a very funny piece of political and corporate satire that is available here on YouTube. I wouldn't bother reading the sophomoric and occasionally vulgar user comments. Just watch the video.

Quotes of the Day

My professors presented me with two good quotes today:

"It's a little like killing a fish with an Uzi." - Dr. Asgari speaking about a more general proof for a rather specific problem.

"So how do we use this in the real world?" - Dr. Horja speaking about the uses of some bit of Algebraic Geometry which no reasonable person would think has any relationship at all to the real world. In fact, he meant, "How do we use this to solve problems in Algebraic Geometry in particular or math in general?"

[Of course I really do think that Algebraic Geometry has a relationship with the real world. I just haven't found it yet.]

Resident Expert

There aren't very many Americans in my department so I not infrequently find myself to be the only native English speaker in a room of maybe a dozen people. When a question of English grammar arises, I become the instant expert. Unfortunately, I am only fluent in American-English-as-spoken-by-Nina. This means I have a slightly larger vocabulary than anyone else in the room, but I don't actually know the grammar rules any better. I just know what "sounds right". So when everyone looks over at me for an answer I sputter something like, "Sounds alright to me..." and then slouch down in my chair. Such are the pitfalls of being the only whatever in a large group. As a member of your class (married, parent, ethnic group, particular skill, military, etc.), you are supposed to be a completely representative sample. Like asking a Chinese person "So, what's China like?" and expecting a well-researched, comprehensive, and accessible response that represents all of China's large population, when you could go look at a travel guide.

Resident Expert

There aren't very many Americans in my department so I not infrequently find myself to be the only native English speaker in a room of maybe a dozen people. When a question of English grammar arises, I become the instant expert. Unfortunately, I am only fluent in American-English-as-spoken-by-Nina. This means I have a slightly larger vocabulary than anyone else in the room, but I don't actually know the grammar rules any better. I just know what "sounds right". So when everyone looks over at me for an answer I sputter something like, "Sounds alright to me..." and then slouch down in my chair. Such are the pitfalls of being the only whatever in a large group. As a member of your class (married, parent, ethnic group, particular skill, etc.), you are supposed to be a completely representative sample. Like asking a Chinese person "So, what's China like?" and expecting a well-researched, comprehensive, and accessible response that represents all of China's large population, when you could go look at a travel guide.

Connecting

My bus driver has a radio she uses to talk to people all over the world. Her latest contact was in Laos. By talk I don't mean conversations. More like they find each other, get a little information, and then they are done. This struck me as an enjoyable hobby. But why? Why would I want to talk to someone I don't know and will never meet for no reason at all? I don't even call up my high school friends. Something about finding people halfway across the world doing the same thing you are, just to say hi, sounds like fun just the same. Not fun enough to actually bother doing though.

Talking Smack

A friend came over for dinner tonight and we played Wii. He brought his remote so we could all play at once. We hit each other with fists, bullets, machetes, and spiked balls on chains. We pushed each other off waterfalls and generally tried to defeat each other in the most absolute and humiliating terms possible. There is something so very satisfying about mutilating someone else's avatar. In fact, after Scott's avatar was dead, Chris jumped right on top of it and shot it up some more. It just wasted ammo, but it was fun anyway. Of course, with all of the mutilating going around, came the smack talking. We were all the best and everyone else was winning by luck or whatever. I have found talking smack to be an integral part of games. Without it, the games just aren't as fun. Winning isn't as fun if you weren't cocky about it the whole time and losing isn't as fun if you haven't built yourself up for a great fall. It's essential.

Spring is in the Air....

...and the chickens are thrilled! They have never been big fans of snow and ice. The nectarine trees (above) are flowering and once the plum trees look like they are covered with popcorn I will post a photo of them as well.

House-Hunting and Background Checks, Mormon-style

A week ago I called my bishop and told him I was heading to Richland. He gave me the name and number of the Richland Stake President (i.e. man in charge). I told the Stake President what I wanted: private room and bath, furniture, WiFi, laundry, and meals. He called my bishop to make sure I wasn't a lunatic. Then, two days later, I had a place to live for the summer. I love my church leadership. They take care of me.

Ah, to be 18 and stupid(er) again

Last night, a young man I go to church with was describing the rules of adolescent boys playing ping-pong. There are four or so boys that play. When a boy loses a match, he stands with his back to the group and every other boy throws a ping-pong ball, as hard as possible, against the loser's back. This boy even had a picture on his cell phone of the welts on his back after one loss. Everyone else in the room considered this hazing, but the boy insisted it was alright because he is "18 and knows what he is doing."

More Procrastination

We have an exam in Chinese today. This exam has been scheduled since the first week of the semester. So, of course, yesterday a few students agitated to have the exam postponed until Monday. Because, despite not using the last five weeks to prepare for the exam, they will definitely use this weekend to prepare. A vote was held and the exam wasn't postponed, but only because not everyone was present and so those voting to move the date didn't get a majority of the entire class. Then the same annoying undergrad I complained about a few days ago, who suggested moving the exam to begin with, summed his feelings us as "You guys suck!"

Complex Analysis is Like Magic Tricks?

I have asserted, and provided some evidence to show, that topologists are like gypsies. Of course, they aren't the only wierd mathematicians. A professor in my department, Ullrich, has written a complex analysis book. Note to non-math people: complex analysis is sort of like calculus only with imaginary numbers like √-1 to deal with. My favorite line so far: "There's a fascinating intuitively plausible hand-waving solution to the [problem] in section 6 of this chapter, with many missing details. Actually with no details at all, not even definitions." So should I now claim that complex analysts are like hand-waving magicians? Or was this an aberration?

My friend Barbara has written down quite of lot of random and unexpected quotes by various professors. (She even wrote down a quote from me once. Does that make me a famous orator now?) Perhaps she can shed some light on whether Ullrich's line represents an overall pattern or is an isolated occurrence. Based on how I feel during complex analysis lectures twice a week, I am inclined to believe the former.

Procrastination

I have a tendency to put things off until it is too late to do them. For example, I mentioned a cute new haircut and Jill asked me to post a picture. I was going to, but I procrastinated and now the haircut isn't so new and is getting to where it needs another trim. So now I can't post a picture. So here I am, only a few days later, posting the specs to my new machine like Anil asked. Yes, people, she can be taught.

My Machine
Processor: Athlon 64 X2 3800+ 2.0 GHz
Graphics: GeForce 6150 LE (128MB dedicated + 256MB from system RAM)
Memory: 1GB PC2-4200
Hard drive: 250 GB SATA 7200 rpm
CD drive: 16X DVD(+/-)R/RW RAM (+/-)R DL LightScribe drive
Wireless: 802.11 b/g
Sound/Audio: Integrated High Definition audio: Realtek ALC 888 chipset, Supports up to 8 audio channels, Dolby Pro Logic II compatible
Network: Integrated 10/100 Base-T networking interface
Memory card reader: Compact Flash I, Compact Flash II, SmartMedia, Memory Stick, Memory Stick Pro, MultiMediaCard, Secure Digital (SD), Micro Drive, xD Picture Card (xD = extreme digital)

My Extras
My baby also got me a 20" flat panel and a wireless keyboard and mouse for a much cleaner workspace. The keyboard is laptop style with less travel for the keys and was designed for Vista so it come with nifty buttons for playing music and opening specific programs or folders. My email button opens gmail, my photo button opens Adobe, my music button opens Rhapsody, etc. There is also a backward and forward button that works for just about anything that can go backward and forward.

Undergrads

I hang out with people I like pretty much all day, every day. There are very few grad students and professors I don't like and I don't see them often since they tend to be on the applied side of math rather than pure. So I am awfully spoiled by the time I go to Chinese class at 3:30 each day and spend an entire hour with some rather silly undergrads. Most of them are okay, a few are cool, and the rest are just awful. One boy talks to much, is really annoying, and thinks we are buddies or something. At least he always waits for me or runs to catch up so we can walk together after class. Sometimes I try going a longer way to avoid him, but then I am annoyed with him for making me go the long way, so I might as well just be annoyed with him for what he says.

Today, however, marked a new low. He started complaining about his math instructor, another grad student, to me. Once I got over my shock that he was complaining to me about people in my department, I heard what he was actually saying and almost started laughing at him. Instead I lectured him on how he was just an undergrad and his opinion of how math ought to be taught wasn't particularly relevant. My favorite quote: "I guess he does theoretical stuff cuz he doesn't know how to do real math. He doesn't even know how to use a calculator."

Getting Spoiled

Today I was minding my own business when a group of international men got onto an elevator in the engineering building in front of me! I know they were there first, but I was waiting and they were all men and they got on in front of me anyway. I was totally insulted. Then I wondered how I got so spoiled as to be insulted at having to wait my turn to get on an elevator. I thought about it as a took the elevator back down with an American man who motioned for me to get on and off the elevator first, even though he was closer to the door. I thought about it as I walked to the math building and then took an elevator with two more American men who also motioned for me to get on and off first, even though they were in line first. And I just couldn't figure out how I got so spoiled!

Feeling Intimidated

You may have noticed a few references this semester to my Algebraic Geometry class. That's because it is always hard, usually incomprehensible, and sometimes humiliating. Adding to my general misery is the indisputable fact that I know a whole lot less than anyone else in that class about algebra. When a homework problem requires some fact from general algebra, I have to go beg someone to walk me through. But I don't always know it requires such a fact unless someone tells me. So I am afraid that everything has some meaning I am missing that is completely obvious to everyone else. I don't even like to discuss homework problems because eventually everyone will figure out that I have no idea what is going on.

So imagine how I felt last Friday when, during a study session with the professor, I opened my big mouth while we were discussing problem #1 to say I thought I had a solution and Toshi asked me to present it on the board because he wasn't sure how to do it. Here was a perfect opportunity to get up and make an idiot of myself. I tried avoidance. I got up and mumbled a bit and tried to sit back down without really saying anything. It didn't work. People started asking questions like "What did you do?" and I was stuck explaining myself clearly. When I finished my, as it turned out, perfect solution, I asked if I could crawl under the table now. So I still managed to convey that I am an idiot while preserving the opportunity to mess up a solution in some spectacularly obvious way later. Brilliant.

p.s. Lest all this give you the wrong impression, I really do like Algebraic Geometry. It's a sick sort of happiness.

I Have Topics! Thanks Boone!

Try as I might, yesterday I couldn't think of anything witty, interesting, or entertaining to write about. Then today, like manna from heaven, came blog topics.

The first is OSU's new fundraising program, the brainchild of T. Boone Pickens. You can read about it here, but basically OSU's athletic program took out life insurance policies on its oldest (literally) fans. It will cost $20 million in premiums and will pay, assuming everyone dies, $250 million for a grand total of $230 million. I'm not familiar with all the ins and outs of the insurance industry, which is maybe why this idea sounds like it came by email from some orphaned heiress in Nigeria. But assuming it does actually work out this way, I guess it's a brilliant idea. At least on paper. The part that strikes me as weird is the part where someone said "Hey Joe, we'd like to get a life insurance policy on you because you look like you're about to kick the bucket and we need money. D'you mind peeing into this cup?" And what new etiquette does this introduce? For example, is it appropriate for the football coach to ask an insured fan how he's been feeling lately or does that sound greedy? Should insured fans get higher cholesterol catering menus in the skybox? Maybe ranch-dipped chicken wings aren't enough. Are they permitted to use crosswalks on game day or do they have to run for it? But perhaps that biggest question is, do I have any rich old friends and will they pee in a cup for me?

Look honey, I got this for you!

My new machine finally arrived! It is faster, newer, and installed with a better OS than my old one. So I rushed home after class to play on it. And was promptly booted to the sidelines by my husband who claimed he needed to fix "a few" things before it was ready for me. At 9:20 I was informed I could finally start installing my machine.

How I feel about Algebraic Geometry Homework...

Check out the 2/26 PhD comic: Time Lapse Montage.

Additional Recommended Extensions

My beautiful new monitor came yesterday. Now I just need a box! I kept a number of extensions that I tested installed to continue evaluating. There are a few toys I didn't think that much of at first, but I have really grown to like.

Tab Mix Plus - Restores your tabs as you had them after a crash or accidental closing. Also allows you to duplicate a tab with all its browser history so the back buttons will work.

Gmail Notifier - I reviewed the Firefox extension called Gmail Notifier and found it wasn't up to snuff, although it does play custom sounds for new mail (maybe someone on Firefly saying "shiny"?), which is fun but ultimately not very useful. I barely mentioned this Gmail Notifier, actually a stand-alone application. I didn't think I'd be all that crazy about it so I didn't actually review it. It has very few features, but I love them. The white envelope icon sits in the system try next to volume control and messenger icons. It turns blue when I have new mail. When I mouseover it, a little box appears with the number of new messages in my inbox. When I double-click on it, my inbox appears. When I get new mail, a teeny little box pops up right above it with the sender and a few lines of the message. Only useful while I am using the computer, but I have found it better than continually hitting F5 while waiting for an expected message. And, my favorite, it opens mailto: links in Gmail in my default browser instead of in Outlook or Outlook Express.

Feeling Old

I am only 25, but somehow when I take courses with younger students, like freshmen, they make me feel old. Like the time in kickboxing class when an 18-yr-old declared he wasn't getting married until he was old. "No, like really old. Like twenty-seven." I felt like I should buy a cane and dentures or something.

Last week in Chinese class I ran into it again. While talking about honeymoons and trips, I mentioned Scott and I are hoping to take a sort of second honeymoon when I graduate from college in three more years, if all goes according to schedule, since that will be our 10th anniversary. Everyone stopped and stared. Finally someone asked "Anniversary of what?" After meekly responding "Our wedding" I got the incredulous question: "How old are you?" I decided I should just slouch quietly in my chair until class started.

Math in Islamic Art

Check out this BBC article on math in Islamic art.

Down Girl! Chill out.

So today I was talking with a woman who likes me, who cares, who I've known for a very long time. And she said something so totally offensive to me that I was speechless. I just stared at her for a moment and she was like "What, no comeback?" Apparently, she thought it was a funny joke. It took like five breaths to calm down and think "Chill out Nina, she didn't mean it" over and over in my head. And here I am hours later, and it is still kinda nagging at me. And she probably has no idea it bothered me at all.

4 Steps to a Better Browser

1. Install Firefox

For those of you still using IE, Firefox is faster, slicker, and leaner. As an added bonus, it comes with fewer features! Wait a minute, you ask, why is fewer features a good thing? Well, because it comes with fewer features. So you add only the features you want. Plus, any developer anywhere who wants a feature can write one and share it with everyone else. These new features are called add-ons.

2. Extend

Extensions are a type of add-on that add new functionality. I am usually too lazy to bother customizing my surfing experience to that extent. But a new computer looming on the horizon has lit a fire under me so I checked them out. Installing extensions is a painless process. Go to the page of the add-on you want, click the big green install button, and then do as prompted. It only takes 2-clicks and about 6 seconds. The install will ask if it may shut down Firefox. Don't worry, it will bring all your tabs back up just the way you had them, only with the new features added. These extensions are the best I found for my Internet use:

Research
Better than copy-pasting into a Word Doc named Untitled every time

ScrapBook - ScrapBook is a left-pane browser, much like bookmarks, where you may "scrap" websites along with comments. You may scrap entire websites, linked material, etc...or just a highlighted paragraph. You may annotate, highlight, and comment on any scraps. And extra stuff, like linking to the original URL and viewing metadata are only 2-clicks away. The browser itself can be closed when not in use. The ScrapBook menu resides next to Tools and the browser comes back up with an easy Alt-K or 2-click menu selection.

For More Info
Quick 'n easy lookups

Research Word - Highlight a word or phrase then right click and select a site to look it up: Dictionary.com, Wikipedia, etc. This requires a double-click to highlight, a right click to bring up the menu, a click to select the option, and a click to select the site you want for a total of 5 clicks. There are straight mouse-over options, but I prefer the lower profile and greater options this extension affords. And at 5 clicks, it is still better than opening a new browser, going to the site, and then copy-pasting over. If you primarily read websites that are not in your native language however, you may prefer a mouseover translation extension.

Map This - Highlight an address, right-click and choose Map This, and Google Map pops up. You may also set your home address and then choose Map To This from your right click menu to get driving directions.

Change - Double-click an amount in a foreign currency to see your chosen currency appear next to it in parentheses. I love this feature. When you install it you'll see a toolbar. Choose your currency and then get rid of the toolbar. It just clutters things up.

Custom Experience
Make your browser feel like home.

Menu Editor- Once you have all these sweet little features, your right-click menu will be quite a mess. Install this editor to customize your right-click menu and the menu bar at the top. You get to this toy through Tools->Add-Ons->Menu Editor->Options. Off the beaten path, but how often do you really need to use it? Then drag-and-drop to customize your menus to your heart's content. You can even move items between menus. For example, you can put "Bookmark This Page" onto your right-click menu. This really is a must-have extension.

del.icio.us Bookmarks - del.icio.us is like your standard bookmark menu in the same way my Motorola Razr is like the rotary dial phone we had when I was a kid. The one I hated dialing 9 on because it took so long to finish rotating back around. del.icio.us is just more intuitive, easier to use, and lets you get ideas from other people who think like you. And this extension integrates your del.icio.us bookmarks into Firefox and keeps them in sync so you can access your bookmarks anywhere.

Gmail Notifier - This is perfect for anyone who misses "you've got mail!" Discreet little Gmail icon sits in your status bar on the lower right with the number of new messages next to it. But I can put that same info on my system tray with a little app, oddly enough also titled Gmail Notifier. Then I can see it whether I am surfing or not.

Gmail Skins - Gmail is a dependable email service with an intuitive organization and storage structure and tons of space. But, like many great offerings (read: Firefox) it is slim on features.

This skin allows you to change the colors, menu location, scrolling, and tiger-stripe your inbox. You can also add your Google homepage as a column on the right-hand side. I didn't know such a thing as Google homepage existed until I installed this, but it is drag-and-drop customizable, like blogger. Mine displays Stillwater weather with Oklahoma and NPR news. To setup this extension just install and then go to your Gmail. There will be a link above your inbox that you click on to choose your settings. This link goes away once you are done.

This extension still has a few quirks, but is in active development with some very cool planned features. The biggest bug is that once you've chosen you're settings, you may not be able to edit them. Instead, you'll need to delete the settings, which are saved under labels as "gmskin:" and then go back to the main page. Basically this starts you over and the link at the top will be back.

Safer Surfing
Think of these as your online cannon fodder.

Magic Password Generator - Most of us pick an easy to remember password and then use it over and over and over. While this is convenient, it is also very bad security. A password generator gives you the convenience of one password with the security of unique and very strong passwords.

Here is how it works: You choose a master password, something you will remember. When you want to login somewhere, the generator does a hash on your master password and the domain that you are creating a login for to create a login password. A hash is a 1-way mathematical process, a type of encryption. Because it is 1-way, anyone who has the login password won't be able to recover the master password. So an identity thief who gets your login password only gets access to one of your online accounts. As an added bonus you have some protection against phishing. If you enter your master password on a bogus Bank of America site, the hash won't produce the same password as on the real Bank of America site because the domains are different. And because it is a straightforward mathematical process, every time you go to the real Bank of America domain to login, you enter your master password and the generator creates the same login password as the last time you were there. You just remember your master password and the generator does all the rest.

Of course, this sounds very technical, but once it is setup, it is push button use. So let's talk about setting it up. Install the extension like normal. In Tools->Add Ons you can select Magic Password Generator. Select options. Then enter your default username and email. The Magic Password Generator will auto-fill login information. Now right click on your toolbar and choose Customize. Drag and drop the padlock icon onto your toolbar. If you don't want this button, you can use the right-click menu.

If you are away from your home computer this handy little button won't be there. In that case you will need to use a bookmarklet (Firefox, Opera) or online form (IE). This password generator has both. I recommend saving the link to the generator in your del.icio.us bookmarks, your homepage, your blog, your email, or some other URL you will remember no matter where you are.

There are two things to consider before upgrading your security protections this way. The first is the start-up time. You will have to change all of your existing passwords that you want to use the generator with. This takes time, but, especially for financial records, is totally worth it. And you can't use the generator for passwords that you are required to change periodically since it will always generate the same password. The second is what generator you use, because once you choose one, you will have to change all your passwords again if you switch to a different hashing scheme. For example, there is an extensionless password generator, SuperGenPass, that operates as a bookmarklet and can be used anywhere. I find it too clunky for home use, but you may prefer it.

Little Things You Always Wanted
These features fix annoying little problems we all run into.

BugMeNot - Allows you to bypass compulsory web registration to view free stuff. Like signing up at a website just to view a news article. It's annoying and pointless since logging in doesn't give you personalized features and it doesn't cost anything. BugMeNot works by allowing any user to go someplace, make a generic login, and enter the info into BugMeNot. Then when other users go to the same place, they use the same generic login by right-clicking and selecting BugMeNot. Obviously, you don't use this to login to your email. The same folks have a coupon code sharing site called RetailMeNot that you can check out, but I have never used.

Extended Copy Menu - Adds two copy options to right-click menus: Copy as html and Copy as plain text. Not strictly necessary since there is a paste as plain text option, but still handy.

IE View Lite - Some websites just aren't optimized for the Firefox experience. IE View allows you to view those sites in IE, without opening up a whole different browser.

Resizeable Textarea - Allows you to resize some textareas for posting to boards or forums or whatever. You just mouseover the edge of the textarea and the cursor switches to a double-headed resize arrow. Operation is a little gummy at times. Specifically, it acts funny if I try to use a diagonal resize on Gmail's To: textarea. Works fine if I use the vertical resize. And right now there is this one particular spot left of middle of the blogger textarea where I get the resize arrow, but at least nothing bad happens if I click on it. Despite the gumminess, I think I could get to depend on this feature.

Nuke Anything Enhanced and Remove It Permanently - These allow you to right-click on some annoying object (typically flashing or moving ones) and get rid of them. You may remove them for this visit (Nuke Anything) or ask your browser to remember you don't like that object on future visits as well (Remove It Permanently).

Nerdy Features
Stuff only people like Scott will like. Warning: I haven't checked these out. They just look cool. And have really high user ratings.

ServStats - Check out other users' experiences with the server you are trying to connect to including failures, latency times, etc.

View Dependencies - Lets you view all files that were loaded in order to view the current page.

CookieSwap - Some websites (i.e. Google, Amazon) offer different search results or prices based on your browsing history. CookieSwap allows you to change between multiple cookie 'profiles' so you can see how this changes your search/shopping results. You may even hand edit the cookies to check for specific oddities.

About This Site - Right-click menu to view traffic information, references, previous versions, etc. This actually doesn't have any user ratings, but PC Mag named it a Top 15 Firefox Extension. If you care about what PC Mag has to say.

StumbleUpon - Basically channel-surfing for the web, StumbleUpon takes you around to random, well reviewed sites and quickly matches your preferences to which sites it takes you to. I haven't installed, not because I think I wouldn't like, but because I think I would like it to much. A reviewer called it crack.

3. Skin

Skins (or Themes) are another type of add-on. Add a skin to your browser to customize the look. These are as easy to add as extensions. Now you've got an easy to use and totally personalized browser. So just remember...

4. Don't Junk It Up!

Be careful not to install too many bells & whistles. They can make your browser unmanageable.

The Bad and the Ugly

Google Toolbar - I love most everything Google does, so this extension came as quite a disappointment. The Google toolbar has tons of helpful features, but they are all done better, slicker, and less annoyingly by someone else. My biggest problem with the toolbar is the screen real estate it requires. Even if I want only two buttons and the search textbox, it insists on a whole 'nother toolbar.

To Be Continued...

I am getting a new computer! So, time to trash this one before I reformat it. I have been trying out every extension, free toy, etc, I haven't tried previously for fear of trashing my machine. Today I focused on building a better web browser. What features matter? How much screen real estate am I willing to give up in order to access features more quickly? In other words, how desperate am I to avoid Algebraic Geometry homework? During all this research, I started writing a review of and guide to those features I think are indispensable in a browser. I will post the review tomorrow (meaning today, only after I sleep).

I have attempted to make this review accessible to everyone, without weighing it down with too many explanations. Instead, I have linked terms to sites with explanations when I felt it was needed. For those of you who need a little primer on vocabulary: system tray is a widely-used term for the start bar in Windows, status bar is the bar at the bottom of your browser that does little more than tell you it is done, a toolbar is a bar anywhere on your browser that gives you access to tools through buttons or URL displays or whatever, the menus are the text fields at the top you can click on to drop down. No, I don't think you're stupid. Just wanted to make sure you knew.

Just Do It

So I finally convinced Scott to leave the Wii and to stop drooling over the specs for the new laptop he is buying and come to bed. We were just snuggling in to sleep when I remembered I forgot to blog today so here I am at my computer desk. Of course, I had plenty of time to blog earlier. I did almost nothing useful all evening. But I waited until I was snuggled into bed to remember to go blog. It was because I didn't have a topic. If I had thought of a topic, I'd've remembered to blog. It's like when Naomi and I didn't want to attend a class, but we also didn't want to ditch it. So we made a concerted effort to forget to attend. We were surprisingly successful until Naomi remembered we had class and forgot we were forgetting about 3 minutes before class. We didn't have enough time to forget again so we were stuck ditching.

Correct

I asked my (Japanese) officemate for some words meaning to correct someone. She didn't know there were any other words so I started describing a few. Then Zhenyi, a (Chinese) grad student, came in and we looked through a thesaurus while I described some of the phrases. Beating a dead horse (offshoot from jawbone) was sort of obvious, but called on the carpet wasn't so much. I wasn't sure how to describe dress down. I mean, where did that even come from? Then there is the highly descriptive tonge-lashing and the also-highly-descriptive-but-not-so-obvious raked over the coals. There are talking to and chew on for people over 50, as in "Boy, I'm gonna give you a real talking-to." I prefer rail at for any particularly energetic yet fruitless exercise in castigation while jump on is saved for those picky little things we just won't leave alone (read: Scott's spelling). But my favorite is ream and the similar rip/tear into. Probably because ream sounds mean and aggressive. Perhaps nicer people use chide.

To buzz or not to buzz?

It is finally back to buzzed hair weather. The first warm, light breezes of spring always make me want to pull out the clippers and get rid of my winter coat of hair. Since I don't notice a lot of suddenly shorn heads this time of year, I guess not everyone else has the same inclination. But this year I went through all of the trouble to get a cute haircut. And I like it. So I am feeling torn. If only all of my problems were like this one. Which good thing to pick this time around?

Five Things

I have been "tagged" to write five things you guys don't know about me. Which is awkward because if I wanted someone to know something about me then I would already have told them. The only things left are either too boring or too embarrassing to blog about. I could take the easy way out and tell you about my dogs, but that is like listening to old ladies talking about their "brilliant" grandchildren for fifteen minutes even though you know their grandchildren are still in diapers. I could tell you little details like my favorite color or something, but you don't really care about those things anymore than I really care about your favorite color. Unless it's crimson. Then I care.

So I am stuck telling you things you probably already know about me. Sorry, this is the best I can do.

1. I am a super-duper fantastic wife. Just ask my husband anytime I am nearby with a weapon on hand.

2. I never remember anything. I forget people's names (I've only forgotten my husband's name once since our wedding), where I've put my expensive electronic gadgets (1 PDA lost, 1 cell phone killed in washer), what I am doing, etc.

3. I am totally unobservant. I miss jokes, nuances, subtleties, and jetliners passing within 20 feet of me. Any D&D players may note the rather dismal 6 I gave myself on my wisdom stat at left.

4. I really do care about my appearance. I like to look pretty and stylish. Just not enough to do anything about it more than once or twice a month.

5. I am an unabashed optimist. I thought everyone knew this, but then a friend realized this last summer after she had already known me for a year. Granted, that was not my best year. I was grumpy and depressed for most of it. But bad moods and optimism aren't mutually exclusive frames of mind. On the flip side I have another friend who describes herself on her MySpace as a "bubbly pessimist." I think Pollyanna is perpetuating inaccurate stereotypes.

Gossip

Today, during the women's group lesson at church, I heard a familiar refrain: We shouldn't gossip or judge each other. We hear this during the women's group at church rather often, which leads me to conclude that there must be a problem with gossiping among the women at church. One person had so much feeling in her voice I was sure there must have been something recently. As I haven't heard any gossip, it occurred to me, not for the first time, that I was totally missing something. I had mixed emotions. On the one hand, I don't like knowing things about other people that I'd rather not know so I am grateful that I have no idea what is going on. On the other, how could everyone leave me out! Do I smell or something? Scott suggested the gossip network had a minimum number of children requirement. If you don't qualify for play dates, then you don't qualify for gossip.

Then there is gossip about me, in particular. I want to know who says what about me so I know who is really a backstabbing wolf in disguise and I can hate them as they deserve. But I absolutely don't want to know who says what about me because then I would have to sit at church every Sunday hating them!

Game Reviews

We played the Order of the Stick game this morning at our local game store for about 2 1/2 hours before throwing in the towel. I felt like I was working too hard to play the game to have any fun. So this post is dedicated to the best games we have found so far (like to purchase, we weren't considering games that don't require anything except people). Keep in mind I like easy to learn, fast-paced games that are still fun the 50th time I play them.

Best Strategy Game: Settlers of Catan
Easy rules and fast game play set this strategy game apart from the competition. The high cost ($40 for the base set and every expansion) is a turn-off. We bought it anyway. If you like Settlers, you may enjoy Basari or Puerto Rico. While not a strategy game, Basari also requires negotiation and some of the same types of shifts in tactics. I haven't played Puerto Rico yet, but it has gotten great reviews. Like Settlers, players grow stuff and try to use resources to their best advantage.

Best Group Game: Set
This game isn't turn-based so people can start and stop playing whenever they feel the inclination. It is fast paced and very quick to learn. It is also suited to all skill levels. Like Pit, only with more thinking required. The short learning curve and ease of moving in and out of the game make this my choice over other great group games like Bang! and Hex Hex, both of which have slightly longer learning curves and require everyone to sit still and play.

Best Puzzle Game: Rumis
This game involves placing 3D block, like Tetris pieces, to achieve certain objectives. The extra dimension is more challenging than you might think.

Best Stupid Game: Munchkin
Of course! Hilarious, but unlike Order of the Stick, quick to learn and play.

Best Couple Game: Oshi
Keep in mind that I am not considering old classics like Go. Oshi is a new favorite of ours and has the potential for lots of strategy without requiring as much deep thought as Go or Chess.

Best Memory Game: Gobblet
You are trying to get three in a row, which sounds easy until your opponent covers some of your pieces and you are trying to remember where they were.

Best Word Game: Quiddler
I am always sick of playing Scrabble about 2/3 of the way through. Fortunately, there are many other choices for word games out there. Quiddler is an easier, quicker version of Scrabble played with cards so no board for the cat to jump on and ruin. I also like Boggle and Wordspot, both word-finding games.

And a few other games:

Ticket to Ride is easy to learn and a lot of fun to play, but a pain to score and I found it got too boring too quickly to be worth the money I spent on it.

Most anything by Cheapass Games is cheap (duh) and fun. Their hit game is Killing Dr. Lucky, which is like Clue, only backwards since the homeowner isn't dead yet. But we like Ben-Hurt, a chariot racing game like Circus Maximus.

Colonial Florist is awesome

Scott ordered flowers for me two weeks ago on FTD. And I didn't get any flowers on Valentine's Day! I was so disappointed. FTD failed to send the order to our local florist. So today he went to the florist and talked to them for half-an-hour to make sure I got my flowers. And Colonial Florist (hereafter referred to as Stillwater's Best Florist) brought me some brightly colored flowers today with a box of Jelly Bellies and a note apologizing and exonerating Scott from all blame. Even though they must be exhausted after dealing with last minute Valentine's Day orders and it wasn't even their fault to begin with since FTD was the one that screwed up.

Final Update on Dissed!

Well, revenge was sweet, but it seems Scott has had enough of it. So I am formally acknowledging that Scott is a great husband, despite his faux pas, and it very sweet to me. Specifically, he picked me up from my office at 2 am after I finished my homework and then brought me home to play Wii. Before he picked me up, he put new super-duper cables so we get better picture and surround-sound and he fixed the tuner so instead of Video 1, Video 2, ... it says Wii, Tivo, DVD, ... If fixing my techno gadgets and chauffeuring me around ain't love, I don't know what is.

Update on Dissed!

I told my topology class how mean Scott was to me just hours before Valentines Day. My professor told the story to other professors over lunch in the lounge and now it is the story du jour here in the math dept. Revenge tastes sweet. :)

Was I really that bad?

There is this loud, obnoxious, self-absorbed guy in my Chinese class (汉语课). Yesterday, I was talking to someone and he butted in to argue with me. Only it was the kind of argument where he listens to me just long enough to come up with some way to intentionally misinterpret what I say and then interrupts me to accuse of me of really thinking whatever twisted version he has come up with. After a few exchanges I determined this little exercise in one-up-manship was not enriching my life and told him I wasn't going to continue. Then it hit me: I used to pull crap just like that. I wasn't as loud and I really don't think I was quite as self-absorbed as this guy has proven himself to be (Note: this claim is being made by someone who writes a blog about herself and expects everyone else to read it). But I think around 19 I was probably just as obnoxious. How embarrassing.

Wii Wise

So, as predicted, instead of doing Algebraic Geometry last night, the Wise family made Mii's and bowled (I won) and played tennis (I lost). Scott even braved the cold to go to Radio Shack around 8:30 to pick up cables so we could get better video quality from our Wii and TiVo.

Dissed!

Scott picked up a game pack for our new Wii that included air hockey. He waxed romantic for a moment with "Oh, honey, our game is in here." I replied with a blank stare. We have a game? "Air hockey. We always used to run to play it together." Continue blank stare. "You know, when we were dating." Realization dawning. He was talking about something he used to do with his ex-girlfriend. "Oh yeah, that was Jenny." Wow, that was cold.

To be fair, he followed up with: "You are everything good in my life now so I just assume all good memories must have you in them." Hm, definitely cheesy, but is it smooth?

Thank you Anil & Todd & Sunday!!!

Sunday saw a Nintendo Wii at Hasting's and told Todd who called Anil who was out for lunch and bought one for Scott and I! Now I can play games and stop working on these awful Algebraic Geometry problems. No seriously, I mean awful. I recently attempted to relieve a few people of this idea they have that I am smart and can do crazy math stuff. I spent a good part of Saturday and most of Monday trying to understand what the Algebraic Geometry homework is asking me to do. Today I finally worked 1.b) and 5.a), at least in part. That is all I have to show people! Leaving the rest of 1 and 5 and all of 2 and 3. I am not even planning to attempt 4 because there is just no way.

Payoff

I used to be a good writer, for a high school student. I want to be a good writer again so I write in this blog every day to become better. As you have probably noticed, I write even if I have nothing to say! Just now a faculty member asked me to write an article for a newsletter she is putting together to help with fundraising, a novel concept in many math departments. I hope the practice pays off.

Note: Jill, I haven't forgotten I am tagged. I am still thinking.

Planning is in the air

Valentine's Day is this week. And while it may be a superficial holiday invented by a secret cabal of chocolate makers and florists, it matters to many of us women. In high school, those with flowers or cards got to show them off and feel special while the rest of us seethed with envy. Now we may be older but we are no less superficial. We all want something to make us feel special. And some deluded men have an idea that come Valentine's Day, they'll just wing it. They think they can run to the drug-store to pick up a card on the way home, ask their sweetie where they want to go for dinner, put the bill on the credit card, and everything will be okay. It won't. Some better plans:

1. Watching her favorite movie over a pizza dinner. Stick a freezer-to-oven, no-work dessert in the oven half-way through so she can eat dessert after the movie.
2. Flowers sent to her at school/work and dinner at home followed by a foot rub.
3. An invitation sent to her at school/work telling her where and what time she will be picked up for dinner and what the dress code is, if any. Followed, of course, by the man actually showing up, dressed appropriately.

Now what do all these plans have in common? Well, they are planned, like ahead of time. Which is the part that actually makes us feel special.

If only you knew the truth

I actually have two blogs. I have this public blog and a private journal blog. I have a very good reason for two separate blogs. There are people in the world who tell me that they think I'm alright. They think I am smart or I work hard or I am nice or whatever. My public blog may not reinforce those beliefs, but it doesn't immediately send them up in flames either. My journal, on the other hand, has all of my completely uncensored thoughts and feelings, including all the mean, nasty ones. And I am frequently very grateful that those people who think I am alright will never see my journal and learn how wrong they are.

A friend has mentioned that when he led our church congregation, he thought everyone thought he was doing a great job. Later he learned that lots of people didn't think that. So I suppose that I should be likewise very grateful I don't have to learn anyone's uncensored opinions of me! I know I am self-absorbed and petty, but I really like to think that other people think I am alright.

Self-Discipline

I learned yesterday* that self-discipline has twice the importance of IQ in predicting academic success. Anyone who has ever taught is probably unsurprised.

I have frequently been frustrated by my lack of sufficient self-discipline. But, by definition, I must lack self-discipline by choice. So how can I be frustrated that I don't have it? I must be frustrated that it isn't as easy as I wish it were. In other words, I am not frustrated by my lack of self-discipline, but by the fact that the universe doesn't order itself in such a way that I never have to develop any. For example, I could exercise self-discipline and choose to go do my homework, instead of sitting here blogging. But I would prefer that homework were so much fun that I wanted to go do it instead of sitting here blogging.

* The LDS church offers religion classes, called Institute, at any university with enough students to take them. The Institute here in Stillwater offers a very good marriage class once a month. This month was on parenting and taught by a professor in FRCD who gave us this nugget of wisdom.

Pink Clouds

Tuesday was absolutely beautiful. It was warm and sunny. Which was shocking since Sunday and Wednesday were both freezing and Monday was pretty chilly. Even the sky was gorgeous so I took a few snapshots.

You don't have to admit it!

I stopped by someone's office today. Someone I have known for 6 years. I've been to his house and I see him most weeks. And today I learned that he didn't know my name. For 6 years he has been calling me 'Nita' and I never noticed. So, today, when he wrote 'Nita' down, I told him he misspelled my name. He had a golden opportunity to play dumb, say "where?", and just fix it when I told him. I never had to know. That may technically be dishonest, but I would'nt've fessed up. I'd've pretended I knew his name all along and just spelled it wrong.

New Look

Scott noticed that the bar along the top of the blog is really quite large on low-res monitors. But I didn't know where to change the html, been too long since I coded. So he fixed it! Yeah Scott!

Losing Something I Didn't Have

I always wanted to serve in the Peace Corps. But it wasn't in the cards. I got married too early to do it on my own, and my husband's career is too important for him to take a few years off to go with me. I knew, without a doubt, I would never sign-up. So how did I feel when I was informed during my debriefing for a government internship that I was not permitted to join the Corps for 10 years? I had been tricked into losing an opportunity I didn't have! I was very upset. If I had known up-front, I would have taken the internship anyway. After all, I was never actually going to join the Peace Corps. But what happened was completely different. Like the difference between a 10-yr-old boy hearing he may possibly get a puppy at some unspecified future time and hearing he will never get a puppy. Same outcome, different result.

S'mores

Yesterday was a s'more day. S'more, or "some more", is a food we eat to while celebrating a good day with friends and family. Yesterday was definitely a good day because I had homework due this morning and left my office at a reasonable hour, meaning before 2am. Then Barbara invited Naomi and I and Scott to a community dinner at the Wesley foundation. Everyone collected their meat and veggies and then cooked it on a communal grill. Afterwards, we toasted marshmallows for s'mores! Which gives me one more lovely s'more associated memory.

Addictive Sweet Potato Burritos

Saute the following:

• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 4 cloves garlic, minced

Mash in:

• 6 cups canned kidney beans, drained
• 2 cups water
• 3 tablespoons chili powder
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 4 teaspoons prepared mustard
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper, or to taste
• 3 tablespoons soy sauce

Assemble burritos with a glop of beans, a glop of potatoes, and some cheese:

• 4 cups cooked and mashed sweet potatoes
• 12 (10 inch) flour tortillas, warmed
• 8 ounces shredded Cheddar cheese

Roll up and freeze individually. Reheat in microwave.

If you are anything like me, you stopped at mixing mustard and soy sauce and wondered if this was some sort of joke. When you got to sweet potatoes, you were sure it was a joke. I figured the 359 people on AllRecipes.com that gave these burritos a 4 1/2 star rating weren't joking though, so I gave them a whirl. And learned that addictive isn't in the name for marketing reasons. These things really are delicious in an addictive sort of way. The other addictive part is being able to pull a burrito out of the freezer, pop it in the microwave, and start eating it in like 3 minutes. I know you can do the same thing with Hot Pockets but these are cheap and relatively healthy, if by healthy you mean not dripping grease into little pools on your plate. If, by healthy, you mean definitely not a carb-loaded, nutrient deficient flour tortilla, then not so much.

NUTRITION INFORMATION
Servings: 12
Per Serving
Calories: 513

• Total Fat: 8.4g
• Cholesterol: 20mg
• Sodium: 1174mg
• Total Carbs: 79.3g
• Dietary Fiber: 13.6g
• Protein: 19.6g

Morbid Imaginations

I have an overactive imagination. I mean every girl dreams of being a princess or Wonder Woman or something. But I get so immersed I actually get disoriented when I come back to reality. Like imagining I am in space in free-fall and then remembering gravity in time to notice myself falling over. So when both my brothers and a male cousin died in short succession, my imagination took a predictably morbid turn and I began imagining new and creative ways my family members could die.

I had to fixate on something to give my imagination some structure and limitation. Otherwise I would wind up imagining some way my entire family could be on the same doomed plane at once and then where would I go? I can't top that. So I fixated on two rules: only male relatives die and only one at a time in unrelated circumstances. I could have fixated on their common age instead of their gender, but then I would be fair game and an exciting death is only exciting if you are around afterwards. I could have fixated on both, but then I would have only had 3 cousins to knock off, besides my husband. Not enough "scope for the imagination."*

I started with my dad (sorry daddy, I love you) and chainsaw accidents. Those could get wonderfully gory. But then the story I would tell afterwards would lack punch. "Equipment malfunction" wasn't a romantic way to go as Anne Shirley might say. I also realized I missed out on all the dramatic possibilities with my brothers' deaths. Those involved quiet, early-morning phone calls or hospital visits. There was no opportunity for hysterics or dramatic soap-style announcements. I would learn of daddy's demise from the news, with lots of people, like extras in a movie, waiting around for my dramatic moment.

The perfect newsworthy end for my daddy was to be shot, once in the heart, by an unsympathetic criminal. As an added bonus, there would be the drama of a trial. At the end of which the criminal would be sentenced to death and, as the heroine, I would forgive him and ask that his life be spared. Of course, I didn't really want my daddy's killer to live, so he would have to suicide. The perfect ignominious end.

Unfortunately, I was left alone with my mom at the end every time. I tried killing her too (innocent bystander?) but the rules specified male relatives only, so I was stuck with her. And I don't think I'd love my parents as much if they didn't have each other to call and harass and fuss at. I decided daddy had to live.

Next I tried killing my husband. I had run out of my best ideas with daddy and was left with car accidents. How pedestrian (lame pun intended). I should have tried exploding computer monitors. That is how he used to joke about dying. It wasn't the bizarre and accidental death so much as the aftermath that was problematic here. I figured I would lay in bed for at least three months eating chocolate ice cream and watching reruns of Buffy. That was not exactly the romantic heroine image I wanted to cultivate. In fact, it was a little pathetic.

The only people left on my list were one grandfather, three cousins, and an uncle. I am only close to one of my cousins and, after my brothers, even that is anti-climactic. Given the lack of raw material to work with, I didn't even make a respectable effort at killing him. So ended my sad career as an armchair psychopath.

* Quote is from Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery

My Cousin Jon

I didn't feel like blogging today but I pledged to so I sat down and blogged. But my topic was awfully morbid, though I thought it was funny, and Scott said if I posted it you all would bug him suggesting I be locked up. So I have to write another post. This picture of my cousin was taken by an AP reporter during the California wildfires in 2003. I thought it was really cool. And that is the extent of my creative vocabulary tonight.

Note that I added a new comic strip's RSS feed to the left sidebar.

Losing Sight of the Whole Picture

When I got a teeny-weeny, very safe, 250 cc motorcycle, Scott began fussing about how I was going to wind up a splat on the concrete. After a few weeks of this, I let him ride once. He decided they weren't so dangerous after all and signed up for a safety course.

Part of the course involves learning how to use the front and back brakes effectively. One woman accelerated smoothly, passed the marker, braked firmly, and came to a stop. She smiled triumphantly at her successful braking. Then she fell over. She was so focused on braking that she forgot to put her foot down.

I'm Heading to the Pacific Northwest (in like, 4 months)

I got my assignment from DHS and I will be going to Pacific Northwest National Laboratory. Yay! I'll be in the desert many many miles from any major cities! Which means I will STUDY!!!! I hope.

The Definition of Insanity...

...is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Every morning, sometime between 2am and 6am, our dogs decide they are bored and want to wander outside for a little while. So they waltz into our bedroom and start beating my husband with their cold, wet snouts. They pick his arms up and fling them up in the air. They nudge his head around. They wake him up and, inevitably, he gets up and lets them out!

This seems to be a fairly direct cause-and-effect chain to me. They beat him. He rewards them. They continue beating him. When I point out this chain of logic for my husband, he agrees but insists he is powerless to change anything. Apparently the dogs hold all power in our household and are capable of compelling obedience. He claims 1) the dogs are determined to wake so he may as well capitulate and 2) if he does not, they will retaliate by making a mess. Of course, he always gives in so there is really no way of testing either hypothesis.

This morning something changed. This morning, when the dog started pushing Scott around, I woke up and crawled over Scott to sleep on the edge of the bed between him and the dog. And nothing happened. The dog went away and left us alone. She didn't make a mess. The world didn't come to an end.

If I meant to drop vague and oblique hints...

In an earlier post, I complained about the unspecified remarks of some unnamed people. A few of my dear friends and readers wondered if I meant them. Or course, I didn't. I was referring to people who certainly are never going to read my blog, because we aren't friends. I regret making anyone uncomfortable so I want to clear something up. I won't make vague accusations against anybody I know off-line that I also know reads this blog and then leave you to wonder.

There is one exception. If - sorry, I mean When - my husband does anything wrong or annoying or if I am just in a bad mood that day, I will feel fully justified in making oblique hints about the gaffe on my blog. If he fails to read the blog, notice the hints, and make amends within two hours of posting, I will further feel justified in acting affronted for the remainder of that day while refusing to tell him why. Finally, I reserve the right to mention both the original blunder and his subsequent failure to notice the hints on my blog anytime a remotely similar situation crops up for the remainder of our mortal lives. I'm sorry I have to do this honey, but it doesn't seem fair to change the ground rules that men and women have been using to operate by for thousands of years off-line just because now it is online.

Spreading Addictions

Firefly was a short-lived FOX tv series (fansite). I never even heard of it until after it was off-air and on DVD. Then a friend, Fyl, got me hooked. I watched the entire season, 4 DVDs worth, on one weekend. Then I inflicted this addiction on others. They all thanked me for it and went out to buy the whole collection themselves. And then stay up all night and all the next day watching it.

But that was a few years ago. The drug I am currently pushing to the world is a comic strip: The Order of the Stick (OOTS). I have an RSS feed for the latest strips on the side-bar ( <---- over there) and I already have a fish hooked. Barbara even made it to to strip #200 before telling me!