Driving (or Not)

I've blogged DC. Well, a bit of duPont Circle at least. Time for something new. Sunday night I left DC and headed to South Dakota to meet Scott, Chris, and Brad. Which was so much nicer. There were pine trees and quaking aspen trees and Black Hills and wildlife and art. Previously the only thought I had ever given to South Dakota was "It's south of North Dakota." Clearly, I still have a lot to learn about the world.

After all the fun we had to drive home and I don't like to drive. Which is why I cultivate a reputation as a very poor driver even though I think I'm actually a pretty safe driver. I used to ride a motorcycle so I have a strong appreciation for the value of defensive driving: Never assume another driver is going to do the reasonable, rational thing. I know I am ccasionally 'that driver' that everyone curses. And I take certain roadsigns (e.g. No U-Turn, Speed Limit 60, Stop) as suggestions. And I have a little trouble with distances in parking lots and have inflicted a few dings or broken taillights. But I've never had an accident and I've never done any serious damage to any car (i.e. damage it cost me money to repair). But when I describe this history, I don't put into persepective and emphasize my good driving record. Instead, it goes more like this:

I've only hit one car in the last year.
I'm doing better with stop signs. I noticed that one last week.
It's not like I pulled that U-Turn on the toll road during rush hour.

In each case I manage to point out something dangerous I've done while pretending I am trying to defend mayself against bad driving allegations and look ditzy at the same time. I always try to giggle a bit during the conversation too. I mean, giggling about running into parked cars can only help my cause. Making my job even easier, Scott always leads into these for me with partial lists of my driving exploits that I can elaborate on as much as necessary. I am still not sure if he is doing it because he knows I don't want to drive or because he loves the novelty being better than me at something. Either way, I wasn't asked to drive once during the 13 hours from South Dakota to Oklahoma. (Scott: Did you notice I managed to thank you and get in a dig at the same time? I just thought you'd appreciate the artistry.)