Every year I wait until the last minute to get a Halloween costume and every year I wind up perusing the contents of the costume aisle at the party store:
- Naughty Red Riding Hood: She's a little girl!!! Not sexy.
- Vixen Pirate Wench: Captain, maybe. Wench? No.
- Corrupt Cop: I'm guessing she takes bribes, but who wants some drunk guy's idea of a bribe?
- Dirty Martini: Olives over breasts with pimientos over nipples. I couldn't show my face the next day.
- Deviant Housewife: I thought Halloween was where women dressed up as something different than they really are...
- Sexy Asian Schoolgirl: Dress up as a sexy Asian schoolgirl if you must. Just do it in the privacy of your own home.
- 1st Place MILF: How do you explain the acronym on the sash to your kids?
In case you wondered, I didn't make any of those up. And lest you think I cherry-picked the worst, Playboy has its own line of Halloween costumes. It gets worse. Anyway, for those of us looking for costumes that cover the entire butt cheek (and really, how many of us have butt cheeks we ought to be showing off?), the party store provides "Pumpkin" and "Ghost". Which leaves those of us who want to cover our butt cheeks with a cool costume out of luck. So this year I started thinking about Halloween two full weeks in advance. Now I can go online and look at costumes. I am going as Wilhelmina. That is actually my name, but I am going as Wilhelmina Harker from Brahm Stoker's Dracula. Seems like an obvious choice for a woman named Wilhelmina, but I've never dressed up as her. So I am hunting for an appropriate period gown. How do you other women out there handle Halloween costumes?
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4 comments:
Well, they never make anything cute in my size, so I bought a cute witch hat and dress in black with crazy dark makeup. lol.
Am I the only person who doesn't know what MILF means?
I actually usually make mine. In college I usually used pieces of old dance costumes combined with other things, my sophomore year I had my mom make part of my costume because it needed a decent amount of sewing and I didn't have a sewing machine. 2 years ago I used a dress I already had and bought a hat and accessories, and went as a 1930's gangster. Last year I used a skirt and shirt I found/had, made a corset, bought a wig, made a sash (i.e. cut fabric into a triangle) and went as a pirate. (NOT pirate wench, but pirate)
This year I'm re-using the corset with different ribbon, re-using the peasant shirt, making a quick and easy skirt and apron thing, and going as a bar "maiden". Not sure exactly how it will look yet.
But yea...I'm all about re-using things I have sitting around and doing a minimum amount of sewing (although now I have a machine).
I have a lot of fun outfits from dancing, so when I feel like dressing up for Halloween (which isn't often), I just get fun accessories for some of them.
Example:
Red dancing dress, then add
White wig and
Plastic bloodstained dagger
Etc
I had to look up MILF the first time I heard it. If you don't know it, I'd leave it that way.
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