I care...I care not...I care...I care not...I care!

Scott and I started a "child-free" family home evening group a few weeks ago. When I first thought of it, I called it "adult-oriented", but I quickly realized that didn't sound the way I meant it to. Anyway, we invited some other people from church, couples and singles, who don't have kids to join our group. One of the women I invited is someone I really admire. She is brilliant, interesting, and just a joy to be around. So instead of saying something like "I would really like it if you could join us" I said something more like "We have this group and if you'd like to come you can". What I meant was "I really want you there" and what I conveyed instead was "I don't care if you come or not". It's sort of my modus operandi. When I like someone and think they are interesting, and invite them somewhere, and I really do want them there, I pretend I don't much care. Why? Is it fear of rejection? Fear that I'll sound weird? I have no idea. I used to do this to one of my brothers too. How mean is that? But I am working on it. So when I saw this woman yesterday I told her how much we missed her on Monday when she wasn't able to come.