Nina's Stillwater Calendar

Monday, January 22


Last night I did something bad. Well, I dreamed I did anyway. Only when I woke up I couldn't remember what I did wrong, so I can't make it right. I just have residual feelings of guilt gnawing at me. Which, since I didn't actually do anything, is illogical. So I spent the morning trying to think of something I actually did do yesterday that I could attribute the guilty feelings to, so I could get over it. Somehow, I think I would feel less guilty about something I remember doing, and can plan on and procrastinate fixing, than something I didn't do and can't remember. But I don't feel guilty about anything obnoxious that I did yesterday.

I made a face at something redundant that someone said at church. I am working on doing that less, which is why I only made one face during the whole 3 hrs I was at church. So that is a good thing, no guilt. I didn't watch Desperate Housewives, which I gave up last month during Sabbath day and now wait until Monday night to watch. I didn't pay enough attention to my dogs, but then I don't feel guilty about that any other day, so why start now? Wait, I didn't print tea invitiations or make a few phone calls. I can feel guilty about that. Since I have felt a vague inclination to guilt over those two things for almost a week, it isn't even out of my way to pile some unrelated guilt on top. And tonight, I can transfer all my accumulated guilt to my husband by complaining to him about how the printer isn't working. After all, I did press the print button last night, even if I failed to do anything about it when nothing happened.

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