Nina's Stillwater Calendar

Sunday, February 10

Enough being nice. Time to be real.

At church we have a women's class every Sunday. And a very common refrain at our women's class goes something like: "We women are so hard on ourselves. We are too harsh and judgmental. We need to remember that we're just human and we just need to try to do our best." If you've been reading this blog, you know my self-esteem doesn't really need any more coddling. I may favor self-deprecating humor, but it's not because I don't think pretty darn well of myself. It's because I don't want to hurt anyone else's gentler sensibilities. So I always sort of roll my eyes at this bit of advice. But I always assumed that these ladies kept insisting that "we all need to a little nicer to ourselves" because they really are typically hard on themselves. I was wrong. Most of them have just convinced themselves that they are the busiest wife/mother/woman they know and are trying to use this fact to excuse themselves from the little things that the rest of us should be doing.

"I am pregnant with my second kid and the first one is still wearing me out. I don't see how I can possibly do it. Maybe when the kids are bigger."

"I'm working and in school. Why don't you ask someone who has time?"

"I'm busy Sunday through Wednesday and worn-out Thursday and Friday. And Saturday is my catch-up day. Sorry."


Jill said...

So - what is your excuse to get out of something? :o)

iPhilip said...

Really? I thought Relief Society was all about women crying and saying how much they loved to stay home with their kids...
Of course I have never been, but that is what I hear through my wife. By the way, since you asked, she is doing good. She is well on her way to getting her Masters and PhD, so she prescribe medicine and stuff I have no idea about.

Nina said...

Well, I am just commenting about my RS. I've been to others that are a little less self-indulgent. By the way, since you mentioned it, I had no idea your wife was into anything remotely medical. When is she getting her Master's? I assume an M.S.? What in? I hope she isn't one of the ones crying about how happy they are to stay home. I mean, I am glad they are happy with their choices in life. But crying seems a little over the top.

iPhilip said...

No, my wife can't stand the ones who cry, and how they love to cook and clean. Lauren has always wanted to be out in the work force. She started her nursing program last year and will work towards being a nurse practitioner. She actually wants to be a doctor, but she thinks she is too old and would not see our kids until they were like 20.
Just note, I see nothing wrong with stay at home moms. I have been a stay at home dad for the last 6 months while looking for something to support the family, and it is hard work. Especially the cooking part. Holy cow, how many ways I have learned to make spaghetti.