Feeling Sexy & Narcissistic

A single friend bemoaned the fact that he can't find anyone interesting and, misunderstanding him, I immediately thought of lots of interesting people. Lots of married, old, or otherwise unsuitable interesting people. Also, being the self-centered narcissist that I am, I responded with "I'm interesting!" He gave me an exasperated, this-is-so-obvious look: "I don't look at other men's wives!" And it occurred to me, why should that be obvious? I mean as a general matter, men do look at other men's wives. Frequently and closely, in fact. I suppose as a more specific matter I was supposed to know that, being the great guy that he is, he wouldn't do such a thing. I did assume that he wouldn't seriously consider dating a married woman. But he said "look" and that is a different thing.

A related story arc just finished on Desperate Housewives. Lynette, a former career woman who now has five young children and a husband, is forced to take care of her husband's restaurant all by herself after he hurts his back. Enter a young and sexy chef that she hires to help her out. They flirt shamelessly and Lynette feels attractive and sexy. But when the chef suggests they have an actual relationship, she fires him. Yes, I know I should find better sources that Desperate Housewives to prove I'm not the only woman who likes to look and be looked at, but still. I think lots of women feel like Lynette sometimes. I once spent two weeks in Utah for a math conference. In two weeks, one man asked if I wanted to go dancing. One very gay man. The kind of gay man who wears fruity scented, sparkly lipgloss. I was so upset. It wasn't that I wanted a date. I just wanted someone else to think I was worth dating.

All of which begs the question, why? First off, I am perfectly aware that I am not a totally great catch. And I still found a man who knows all my faults and still wanted to marry me. Why do I want a second opinion? Wait, I have gotten a second opinion. Why do I want a second positive opinion? Perhaps it is because the very fact that he married me brings his judgment into question. Perhaps it is because he always think I am beautiful (Seriously, at 2am? I don't think so.) that I need to ask someone else's opinion. Perhaps it is because I am really that narcissistic.